Elopology

TravelMole says Destination Weddings are on the Rise

First of all, who doesn't crack up at the name "travel mole" for a website. You just have go click on when you see it. Also, they have done some research on the Destination Wedding industry and are finding that despite the recession, destination weddings are on the rise.

Click here to read the article.

Eloping in New York City

I think I missed the article below from the New York Daily News.  A few months back I wrote about Eloping in New York City. The article entitled Want to Save Money on Your Wedding? Why not Elope? talks about couples who decide to forgo the big wedding and to do something simple and romantic in New York.  You may also want to check out the website www.elopenewyork.com which shows people "How to plan an informal wedding ceremony or elope in New York." It's a very informative site and easy to navigate.

Critical Comments for a Happy Eloper: Great advice given

A few months ago I wrote about a comment I received from a stranger when I told her that I eloped. She was telling me about the planning of her daughter's wedding and how much it cost to have weddings and this and that and was obviously waiting for me to jump on her bandwagon and I said "Oh, I don't know about that, I eloped." And she said "I'm sorry."  I found this to be both annoying and funny.

I was reading the Dear Prudence column on Washingtonpost.com and found a question posed by a recent Eloper and a great response from Prudence, who herself eloped.

The segment from the column is below, dated May 11, 2009. Click here for the link to the entire column.

Maryland: I recently eloped and sent out wedding announcements. A lot of the congratulatory responses so far have included near the beginning of the conversation a question asking "Were your parents upset that you left them out?" or "How did your parents feel"? The questions have a critical feeling to them. Other comments have been made to me that I'll regret not having had a wedding. A few people have asked if I sent the announcements expecting gifts.

For the record, our parents were okay that we eloped. I do not regret it, and do not expect gifts. Announcements just seemed the nicest way to tell our friends about it.

Do you have any great comebacks or advice for how I should respond to these critical questions and comments? I just wish everyone would leave it at "congratulations."

Emily Yoffe: You've been giving good answers. "No, our parents weren't upset." "We don't want gifts -- we just wanted everyone to know our good news." "We had a great time eloping, so I don't think I'll regret it." By the way, I eloped 15 years ago and have never regretted it. But if, oh, 10 or 20 years down the road you do think, "Gee, I'd like to put on that wedding now that I never had then" DON'T!

further down in the column, more comments.....

Re: Maryland: Yes, Please DON'T re-wedding. In 10 or 15 years throw on your best threads and have a kick a-- anniversary party.

Emily Yoffe: Good idea on the anniversary party in case you ever feel deprived of a "real" wedding (which, again, 15 years later I don't).

No, it wasn't the Swine Flu

Well, Hello Readers of Elopology!

Wondering where I have been? Well, you may remember reading that my daughter had pneumonia and I was absent for a while. It just seemed to linger for a very long time. After trips to the doctor, the ER, two antibiotics and many doses of Children's Motrin, she has kicked it. I am writing this slowly and with one hand because I have my fingers crossed on my left hand and I keep knocking on a piece of wood as I type that we are healed.

You all know that my husband and I were at a Destination Wedding in Mexico in early April, about 2 weeks before the pneumonia set in.  So, thank you for all of your emails suggesting that my daughter had the Swine Flu. Despite the many hours I spent on a pig farm while vacationing in Cancun, we did rule out Swine Flu, even though pneumonia is one of the indicators of the illness.  And, I'm very happy about that.

So -  we are still in a recession and the wedding season is upon us. Soon-to-be-married couples are now counting their pennies, arguing, sick of the planning and are looking for an alternative to this big, expensive wedding they have planned for June. This is the moment when many couples decide to elope.  It's not so strange to bail out on the plan, go get married and return for the reception - or cancel the entire event and decide that paying for rent or a down payment on a house is more important than having a mime entertain the guests at a fancy cocktail hour.

I recently read this article entitled Eloping in Style - Haught Gowns I found on a blog called Marvelous Girl. The writer states, "Eloping is the Smart Girl's Marriage." In the article you can find some very stylish dresses for less than $1,000 and you can forward this to your mother after you call her from the Florida Keys saying "we eloped!". Simply say "Mom, I'm too smart to have a big wedding. Read this article."  There you have it.  Spending money on an elaborate wedding during a recession when you are just beginning your life together with your soul-mate is just plain stupid.

More to come. I am researching European Destination Locations since I will put my Mexico findings on hold for a while.

Even the Wall Street Journal suggests Eloping as an option...

On April 8, in The Wallet, one of the Wall Street Journal Online blogs, there is an article entitled Keeping the Bill Small on Your Big Day.  It's a practical article with advice on how to cut corners on your wedding day.

After listing some cost-saving ideas for a wedding, the writer, Melissa Korn, offers fantastic advice, "If all else fails, invest in two plane tickets or a tank of gas and elope!"

Amen!

I challenge you to write better poetry.....

As I do more reading on how to blog and learn about key words, choosing them and using them often in writing, I thought I would try a little experiment.  I tried to write limericks about eloping. Each masterpiece that you will read below contains the word "elope" or "eloping."  You will ask yourself "how does she do it - she writes solid informative content AND she is a poet?" and I say to you - I am blessed.  I also think there are a lot of people out there searching "Elope & Limericks" so I thought this would get some traffic to my blog.

And, dear and NUMEROUS readers, I challenge you....write better limericks than this and you will be rewarded with Superstar Status on the Elopology Blog (I haven't built the "what status star are you?" component of the blog yet but I assure you it is coming).

Tomorrow....Haiku.

#1: The inspiration for this one came on the first day of Spring, normally a time of new life, yet it snowed here in PA.

There was a ski girl on a slope

and for marriage she'd lost all her hope

Until hit by a hunk

and pinned to a tree trunk

it was love and they said "Let's Elope!"

#2 This limerick was written while I was preparing a lesson for the religion class I volunteered to teach to 1st graders.  It's hard to find words that rhyme with Jesus so I took a more mortal approach.

I was in Rome and felt like a dope

I was hoping to love and elope

Then I started to chat

with a man in a hat

Thinking "marriage?", then saw he was the Pope

#3 I got the inspiration to write this classic limerick while I was watching a show about Baryshnikov.

At the circus I watched the tight-roping

Thought the acrobat would be worth groping

I stayed late in the tent

to his trailer we went

Ended up running off and eloping!

Guest Poet: My husband actually submitted this limerick. He is obviously still smitten.

There once was a hot chick named Lynn

She was brilliant, and witty and thin

Wedding plans made her mope,

So I said "Let's Elope!"

We were wed and I feel that I am the luckiest guy in the world to be married to such a sweet heart. I count my blessings every day that she is by my side. I could want for nothing else. She is also a wonderful mother. I am truly blessed by God.

Yes, as you can see, he really doesn't understand the structure of a limerick. Oh well.

 

Author of Kiss N Blog shares his idea of elopement planning.

Being a newbie blogger, I'm not sure if I can actually cut and paste another's blog post into my blog. I found the post below a while back and was saving it until the blog re-do for Letselope.com was ready. 

The blog author, "Wombat," plainly states that when he finds the woman he wants to marry, he will propose to her, and then propose that they elope. I think this man is a genius. Why have we not heard of him before??  I also love the picture.

Here is the post below and the link is http://kissnblog.blogspot.com/2008/01/we-elope-they-are-eloping-its-elopement.html

Part of the fun of the article is reading the comments to the post so click on to the link to see that most people out there think that eloping is a GREAT IDEA. The one thing that I would change is that he suggests not registering for gifts. Whether you register or not, people will want to send you a gift. So, why not help to guide the in their selection of what might be the right purchase for you.

We elope, they are eloping, it's elopement.

When my future wife turns up, she will, as we have discussed, share my sense of humour, and get my motor going. When I propose marriage, I'll also propose something else: eloping.

Here's one plan, but it's just a start. If she has another in mind, I'm completely open.

1. Find a place we both want to go for a vacation. A relaxing vacation, mind you, not an adventure like Peru or Baluchistan. St Lucia springs to mind, or the Berkshires in Massachusetts. Somewhere romantic.

2. Ask another couple along. We'll need witnesses and someone to take the photos, and to share the secret. These folks will need to be low maintenance, get-along types. After all, we won't be spending much time with them. Dinner and the odd afternoon perhaps.

3. Arrange a civil ceremony a day or so in advance of the elopement, if leaving home. I'm not sure just how legal a wedding in (St Lucia) is for non (St Lucians).*

4. Make all travel at decent times of the day. No hurry. How many couples leave their wedding reception at midnight or later, rush to a hotel, and are up again at 5:00 am for a flight somewhere? No sir. If necessary, we'll stay in a hotel here for a couple of nights before leaving.

5. Announce the event has taken place by inviting people to a party when we return. Something along the lines of "Come to a party at __________'s and Wombat's place, we're celebrating." When everyone has gathered, announce that we're married so we can get stuck into the champagne.

6. No gifts. Wedding Registries irk me. How presumptuous to list what we want you to buy us? Sheesh, I dislike that. If you don't know us well enough to buy something thoughtful, then forget about it. Eloping circumvents all that.

7. Minimum angst. My experience of weddings is that frayed tempers are a part of the deal. If this is to be the best day of our lives, I don't want any part of the marital-industrial complex. Wedding planners. Cripes.

That's it, I think. Oh, a ring. Even that I can buy online, so we're all set.

The Three E's: Elephants, Eloping and the Economy

Let’s talk about words beginning with E. We’ll start with Elephant. You are sitting with your fiancé and looking through wedding planning books, magazines and websites. You have a tentative guest list that you can’t agree upon (and that’s before passing it on to your mothers) and you are tallying up the potential costs. Soon you begin to say to yourself “there is no way we can afford this,“ turn a few more pages and you think “I will never own a house.“ The idea of working another job as well as sewing your own dress is not appealing, especially since you don’t sew.  The Elephant has entered the room.

As you start to sweat about the financial stress a wedding will add to your life as well as the damage this huge pacyderm could do to your living room, you begin to fantasize about Eloping. Why not just book a trip, grab some beach attire, plan a ceremony and enjoy a honeymoon. Your heart really starts racing now because, well, this idea is a lot more exciting than picking out the recessional hymn. And, you know that with the current Economy, you must acknowledge the Elephant and start to plan your Elopement

And, it’s not just you who has decided to put a halt on wedding spending. In a recent on-line article from the Boston Business Journal, the effect of the economy on weddings is evident. “Before, couples made decisions as to how lavish to make their wedding, and now the choice is often between a down payment on their first home or a wedding,” … “People are feeling guilty or nervous spending on their wedding when there is uncertainty about their jobs and the duration of this economic downturn.” The numbers of people tying the knot in the US is expected to increase this year but the wedding industry is expected to see a loss. How can this be? Well, perhaps people are eloping.

So...start planning.

Wait, this is my area, let me do it for you. I will show you how easy it is.

Instead of spending the predicted $20,398 dollars on your wedding, you decide to put $5,000 aside for a romantic getaway. You decide what you want:

1) to stay in the US.

2) to be on a beautiful beach

3) to stay in a 4 or 5 Star hotel

After doing a few searches on some travel sites, I saw that Hawaii was offering some package deals. Perfect.

Great site: CNN.com Top Travel Websites

There are 25 great sites listed on the above CNN site. I went to a site called SideStep and searched Vacation Packages to Hawaii. I wanted flight+hotel. SideStep will quickly search numerous travel sites and will provide you with an extensive list of options. I plugged in some random dates in June. I clicked onto a few hotels and looked at their “rate calendars.” It was clear that the end of May was a more affordable time to travel to Hawaii. Fine. I'm flexible. I decided I wanted 10 days in Hawaii, with a wedding ceremony. I chose May 20^th to May 30^th.

I live outside of Philadelphia. I did my flight search using multiple airports. The cheapest airfare was out of Newark, NJ. which is 90 minutes away. That is fine. 

I quickly found a room at the Waikiki Beach Marriott Resort and Spa. This 4 Star hotel is 8 miles from the airport. I can get the vacation package suggested or I can upgrade to premium partial ocean view room for $29 per night (it’s a "one day" sale). I upgrade. It's my honeymoon. So my total for flight and a room at this hotel for 10 nights is $2742.

OK. Now, how do I get married? I go to the official website for the Waikiki Beach Marriott Resort and Spa there is a tab for “Weddings”. They don’t do beach weddings, but they provide a link to myhawaiiweddding.com. This is the site of a local reverend who performs wedding ceremonies. The site lists ceremony packages and prices. There are many to choose from.

Since I just want to be married on the beach and have some pictures taken, I choose the most inexpensive package, The Anthurium Package at $175. The website description says:

For a beautiful morning ceremony!

Hawaii Wedding Ceremony performed by Hawaii licensed officiate

Location: Waikiki: Kapiolani Park/Beach Park; Time: 9 - 11 AM

Hawaiian Wedding Certificate

Hawaiian Marriage Prayer: suitable for framing

Hawaii Marriage License processing

YOU MAY ADD: Non-Professional Photographer using your camera, $110

OR: Non-Professional Photographer using his Camera and CD, $140

I decided to go for the Non-Professional Photographer using his Camera and CD, bringing the total cost to $315.  I do want some pictures of this event.

Now I'm up to $3057 for the wedding and honeymoon basic needs.

You can figure out how to spend the rest. You have close $2000 to spend on meals, activities, attire, and shopping. Not too shabby. I planned this elopement within 1 hour. Unfortunately, I am not going to Hawaii at the end of May but if I was, and if I was going to get married, I would be extremely excited.

So, acknowledge the Elephant in the room, be aware of the Economy and plan your Elopement.

WSJ Cites decrease in spending on Big Weddings - and rings

I found an article in the Wall Street Journal that discusses a decrease in the amount couples are spending on Engagement Rings. While the article talks about market research and current spending trends, the blog comments support your choice to save money and just elope.  Many commented on the romance of getting engaged and not the amount of money spent. This also translates into the amount one spends on a wedding, especially in this economy.  The love is in the bond...not the price tag.

For any of you who are saving for a big rock, read the article.

Don't pity me because I eloped

I was in the gym yesterday. I got on the rowing machine which is not my favorite but the treadmills were all occupied. A woman sat down on the rowing machine next to me and started to talk to me. “Oh, I’m usually all by myself here, it’s nice to have a friend.” “Uh-huh.” And I just kept on rowing, looking for a treadmill to open up. I forgot my ipod so I just pretended I was rowing in a race, desperately trying to get ahead of this woman next to me, who wanted to talk, but I couldn’t seem to get ahead, no matter how hard I tried. She must have been watching one of the TVs hanging from the ceiling and said “There are so many cute things for weddings right now. Don’t you wish you could do your wedding over again?” I looked up and sure enough one of the early shows was doing a segment on place settings. I responded, “Oh, I didn’t have a big wedding, I eloped.” She immediately responded, “Oh, I’m sorry.”

Sorry? Hmmm. Wow. Did I accidentally say “I eloped and then my arms and legs fell off?” or “I eloped against my will to a man three times my age?” No, I just said “I eloped.” What did that imply to her? I was forced into elopement? I had wanted a huge wedding but then felt my only resort was to elope? I didn’t respond to her and thankfully someone got off of a treadmill so I said good-bye to my rowing competitor and hopped onto the treadmill, between two people wearing their ipods, thank God.

I was thinking about my blog and thought that my husband and I really didn’t have to convince each other to elope. I don’t even remember whose idea it was, actually. If you need to introduce the subject to your fiancée, or your significant other, read below, there is an excerpt from our book (yes..tooting my own horn – TOOT!). It may start the wheels turning. Since the book was published in 2001, we didn’t focus on one of the main reason today that couples are thinking about elopements –the faltering economy. It is making couples become more frugal which can lead to creativity and even more romance. Think about it. It’s much easier to plan an occasion with just two people involved than 250, and it’s much more cost effective.

Why You Should Elope. An excerpt from Let’s Elope! The Definitive Guide to Eloping, Destination Weddings and other Creative Wedding Options (Bantam 2001)

Couples that have eloped can often pinpoint the exact moment when the idea hit them: the night they came home late from work and cringed at a stack of wedding planners on their bedside table; the phone call from Mom or Dad asking them how the invitation list was coming along; or the end-of-month bill-paying session when they just couldn’t make things add up. One of them turns to the other and says the magic words: “Why don’t we just elope?”

“Wouldn’t that be nice!” they agree as they return to the Dreaded Wedding Checklist. But for those who take the idea seriously, something changes. The pressure’s off, a cloud has been lifted, and all of a sudden wedding planning feels more the way you hoped it would: romantic, fun, and exciting. Of course it does! That’s because you really are planning now, not just following someone else’s instructions. All of a sudden it’s your wedding again, and ideas race through your head: a barefoot wedding on a tropical beach; on a mountaintop surrounded by wildflowers; in Vegas, surrounded by the friends you really love (and Elvis, of course); or in a small country chapel with just your parents and siblings as witnesses. Anything is possible, but most of all the opportunity to express yourself, to celebrate one of the most important events of your life in the way you want.

Food for thought.